#1. Trying to make every film PG-13. It’s inappropriate in many cases. Most genres aren’t suitable for children and by aiming for a stupid censorship label films are neutered beyond belief. When John McClane can’t even say his infamous, iconic catchphrase because children are watching, well something has gone badly wrong. It’s impossible to make [...]
1. Kill yourself.
2. Kill someone else.
3. Quit writing . . . forever.
4. Take ecstasy.
5. Masturbate into oblivion.
6. Create multiple aliases and argue with yourself on message boards.
7. Smash up your home.
8. Stop sleeping.
9. Doodle, in blood.
10. Relax, take some time out and have fun.
You can do one or all of these in whichever order you [...]
1. Never say goodbye when hanging up the phone. Fuck ‘em — Just hang up. Do not worry about anyone calling back as they’re in a life and death situation anyway and their battery is dying so they won’t get a chance to ring back and bitch.
2. Never eat. If you order food the proper [...]
“Psycho” (Janet Leigh)
Janet Leigh’s offing 45 minutes into Hitchcock’s 1960 masterpiece is still the pinnacle of screen deaths. Yet, the defining moment of the movie is also what hurts it most as the slaying is so jarring you spend the rest of the film in mourning, and hoping for Marion Crane’s return which [...]
1) Déjà Vu
The goggle-ray car chase turns the almost rote and obligatory chase scene on its head as our hero Agent Doug Carlin tries to keep a suspect in sight by chasing a digital projection of the past. Inventive and fun.
2) The Bourne Ultimatum
One-upping the fantastic car chase in The Bourne Identity the Moscow tunnel [...]
My top 100 movie one-liners, compiled by bastardising lists from a hundred other sources. Feel free to disagree.
100. “I see dead people.” — Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) in The Sixth Sense (1999)
99. “What’s your favourite scary movie?” - Man’s Phone Voice (Roger Jackson) in Scream (1996)
98. “No time for love, Dr. Jones” — [...]
